::music breathes::

So much to talk about. so little time in my life to write it all down… at least, so little time to actually share it with the rest of the world (believe me, I’ve maxed out several journals w/in this past year). Anywho, let me get started:

music: so much has happened in this area of my life. new albums, old albums (that are “new” to me), and everything in between. Learned to LOVE evanescence – she’s got some really good songs (not only beautiful musically, but strong lyrics). also fallen in love w/ paramore (yea, I’ve got a few years of music to catch up on…) – the #1 song via-them is “The only exception”… good song. I’ve downloaded so many songs over the last two weeks… pretty sure that music is the only thing keeping me going these days.

{{about this point, I would say “Man, so many of the lyrics speak so totally to me” then silently think to myself, no one knows how much these really DO speak to me. but then I wake up to the reality that I am NOT the only one going through these things… thus why the artists write about them and they become such big hits. because EVERYONE ELSE is thinking the same thing as me. duh… i’m not the special exception to this}}

On a different note, I’ve secretly fallen back in love w/coughcoughplayingthepianocoughcough again It’s become my stress-relief (especially since my harp is semi-out of commission). sitting down and playing around with it until i figure out the music to my favorite new songs has been “a blast” Oh, but I am still playing the harp. in fact, I’ll be playing at my roomie’s wedding at the end of this month ((so excited))!

College: this is a depressing subject. I sometimes feel like just throwing all this college crap into the nearest trashcan and moving to Asia! …then i remember that i actually do love learning (much as I am so stinkin slow at it!), and I can’t move over to asia until I fulfill the first steps in my journey (aka. taking a bunch of science courses in order to become a nurse). ::sigh:: life would be so much easier though if that was the only college-relating struggle. but no. it’s not bad enough that I’m a 3.26 student (er… maybe a little less thanks to this past semester)… but now we add financial struggles and people to top all this off! {{now is where  it gets fun}}.

So, starters… $$$ = EVIL. thus, if we could get rid of all $$, life would be so much better. BU is costing me a ****-load and a half. over the last year, I’ve looked up/semi-applied for several other colleges…. ones that would cost 1/3 less of what BU is charging me! argh, if only BU didn’t have such an amazing nursing program (that I’m still not sure i’m going to get into) and such awesome ppls in BU wind symphony! If it weren’t for that I’d leave in a heartbeat…. except, now I can’t. See, unlike in the past when I found “friends”, I’m actually starting to feel like I’ve found some real and genuine “FRIENDS”. and leaving these ppls would be extremely hard. like, my heart would break if they left me, and I’d have to be heartless in order to leave them. i’m done being heartless… I need them. Especially since these last few months have been a blur of black and gray… and lack of white. but that’s a totally different subject for a totally different rainy day… <3

On a semi-brighter note: I may not be living on BU campus this fall… and may be saving $$… like, lots of $$

I’ve been considering this too, but couldn’t find anyone who was interested in moving off-campus/getting an apartment(hadn’t talked to anyone about it). Now, cuz of stupid financial reasons, two of my amazing roomies are moving out (er, NOT moving in) and looking for other various places to live (that are cheaper). this was pretty much the last stick, er… “straw”(?). I got a call from our neighbor lady who’ll be moving down to Roseville in August and who will have a basement that’ll need to be rented out… pretty sure that was my sign from God that I’m supposed to try something new. if this works out, I’ll get a car, be close to BU, stay w/ fahs+soukup in the basement of said house, and be motivated to work on weekends so i can honestly pay rent. (that’ll be w/o any parental help! nice). however, i just talked to my mom about this… she’s not to fond of me staying w/ a divorcee… and I understand her point, but still. if it’s 3 of us christian girls (all going into the medical field) living there, won’t we be more of a support/encouragement than a hinderance? Idk, it’s all up in the air right now, but it’s sounding like a strong possibility…

and now my ride is here. too bad I’m such a slow typer… there’s so much more to say…. <3

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