wow. These past few weeks have felt longer than the last 5yrs of my life put together!

Lately, like the last 2 weeks, I’ve been super busy/tired/busy/depressed.

I have had a lot on my mind – in fact, my mind has been everywhere… everywhere at once! I have so much that I want to worry about: college, homework, gpa’s, nursing applications, work, studying, finances, music(lessons, performances, band and orchestra), and life in general (family, roomies, and friends). oh, and on top of that, people have been reminding me that I need to sleep, eat, and workout upon occasion too

 

Yup. I’ve gotten waaay out of it these last few weeks. In fact, it’s gotten so bad that sometimes I just don’t know if I’m really cut out for this whole “College” thing… which makes me wonder what the heck I’m doing trying to become a Nurse….

 

What if I’m in the wrong place?

what if I am really setting myself up for dissappointment?

what if I’m just not cut out for all this?

then the panic moment….

OMGOSH!! I DON’T HAVE A PLAN “B”!! 

 

see? I told you I could complain about a lot.

 

:sigh:

 

::deep breath::

 

did you notice that something  the MOST IMPORTANT item was missing from that list? (scroll up a little bit – it’s the list that I made of *all* the things I have to do…)

yup… it’s missing God.

*I* have been missing God.

and literally, when you look at my life, you can tell that I have been completely missing God.

sure, these last few weeks people have talked to me, I smile, laugh, give “glory to God” and all that good jazz… but when a relationship with GOD is put aside (like, devotions aren’t done, prayer is set on the shelf, and church… what is that again?), yeah…. you’ll realize, just like I have, that the rest of your life becomes pointless.

 

SO(!!!), I’ve decided that, even though life is trying ever-so-hard to get me down, I KNOW why I’m here (current location: Bethel U).

I’m going to become a nurse.

I know it’s going to be rough, but I KNOW that God has not brought me this far to let me fall.

 He has put His compassion inside of me.

He has given me the brain and will power to learn.

He has given me a vision.

I am going to be a Nurse. a spectacular Nurse

 

oh, and semi-beside the point, but it still has to do with the point…

My Daddy sent me an email (the 3rd one w/in the last 3 weeks!), which I’m gunna close with:

“…He does have huge plans for your life – he allows us to stumble – but He also allows us to be picked up – “brush ourselves off” – and get back on the right track.
 
Matthew 7:7-8
Ask, Seek, Knock
 ”Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened
 
Here’s a poem that has helped me keep going….

 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
-          Author unknown
 
Remember Camille – God has wonderful plans for your life…
 
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

…Love Daddy”

Yayness!

 

as if it’s not bad enough trying to keep up with 2 other blogs, I’m going to start a new one… IN CHINESE!!

http://walkingbyfaith09.blogspot.com

 

take a look. let me know what ya think. and just nod and smile as I practice my favorite language

I wanna make this clear right away: I don’t wanna brag – or sound proud – cuz I KNOW that it was God, and God alone, who has blessed me this much (and believe me – he knows how to take it away JUST AS FAST!)!

but….

 

I LOVE MY LIFE!

I LOVE MY UNIVERSITY!

I LOVE MY ROOMIES!

I LOVE MY FAMILY!

I LOVE MY STUDIES!

I LOVE MY JOB!

 

but most of all… I LOVE MY GOD!

 

Yeah, basically i am sooo undeserving and my God is so full of everything good – it’s super overwhelming!

however, it hasn’t been easy. I’ll be honest – I had quizzes this last week that SUCKED (er… pardon my french~ “they were really bad”). yeah, for the one, I had studied and *thought* I was confident enough… then I got in the classroom and had a mindblank. I talked w/ my proff. today and he was super shocked that I did sooo bad (yeah, *THAT* bad). he gave some encouraging words and said that it’s up to me to figure out how to NOT let that happen again… ::great::

The second test I did not study for – or, rather, I stayed up until 4am the night before the test, rested for 2 hrs, then dove into it. NOT COOL! I really don’t recommend it Yeah, I have yet to find the results, but I’m taking it as a lesson learned… :-\

 

On the other hand…

 

Ah! I totally have a job!! ahhhhh!!! and it’s amazing! aHHHHHH!! and I couldn’t be much more in love with it!

I went in for an interview at ACRHomes (and so I don’t have to explain it, please just look it up and see what it is all about – super interawesomeness!!)

I’ll be a “Long Term Float-er” which means that I get to work (when I have time) for as long as I want. I finished the interview-process last Thursday, and have already put in a few hrs of training. Please pray that it all goes smoothly – I’m really excited to see what God is going to do w/ me through this job

 

Other than that…  I’m basically already filling up my schedule.My schedule is JAMPACKED! literally… I am NOT allowed to get sick, because every day (w/ the exception of  1 or 2) I have packed to the max! yeah, so after this next week I am totally looking forward to hitting the books, practicing/studying like a crazy-woman, and packing in work hrs (a lot of awake-nights… should be fun!)

 

and now that I feel better about getting some of this out in writing, I’d better bid y’all “adue” (french again?) and get back to the studies

 

Love y’all lots <3 <3

Talk about being a bad blogger….

Taiwan-Trip (Summer ‘09) is DONE!
It was truly an amazing trip in more ways than I can express.
I laughed.
I cried.
I met tons of precious people.
I picked up on a TON more Chinese.
…and I met God in a whole new way!

However, I have a TON to blog about since I’ve been home, so if you’re curious about my Taiwan adventures, you really should just come ask me  – I’d love to share all that happened while I was over there

As for life since I’ve been back in the States… where to start?

I went straight to working for my Dad – one whole week straight!

Then off to take a CNA course… AWESOME TIMES

I hit it off right away with the only two guys in the class (David and Bob), and I must say, much as I used to be semi-against the idea of guys becoming “Nurses”, I actually really admired these guys for doing something unusual.

Well, I had quite a few early mornings/late nights for those two weeks of CNA training, but it was worth it, and I passed my test with flying colors! Oh, but I do have to add a quick story: One of the early-morning drives down there was really, REALLY stormy – like, I could NOT see the car 2ft. in front of me! Scared me to death. Yes, I was the only one in the car, thus *I* was driving. So, really rainy/windy outside, could only see the tail lights of the cars in front of me, and having one of those “out-of-body” experiences. I could just see myself getting in an accident and… yeah. Anywho, I got this sudden prompting to turn on KTIS (a local Christian radio station). I did, and my FAVORITE song was on! It’s called “Mighty to Save” by Laura Story. I swear, that song was meant for me… (however, the significance behind that song is a totally different story, thus we’ll just leave it as a favorite) As soon as I heard it, I cranked the radio up, started singing at the top of my voice (I do that ONLY when I’m driving), and almost immediately the rain died down! It was amazing! Totally a God thing, right?

Ok, so those 2 long weeks are done… and no later were they done, then I had to move into Bethel University! I seriously LOVE not having a moment to sit down But seriously, I do love it here! I love all my roomies (April, Rhianna, Tasha, Natalie, AND Lauren!). I’ve already made friends w/ my new professors, as well as caught up w/ my old ones. I LOVE all my classes (bio/gen/org Chemistry, Anatomy, Intro to Bible, Chinese, and vball)! and I LOVE being part of a Christian community!

Yes, my life’s basically considered perfect right now!

…but that’s just the surface of all of it…

 

~Me

I’m back. FINALLY!

It seriously seems like it’s been ages since I’ve ever seen an Asian face, talked in a different language, or seen the beauty in the simplest thing.

Nonetheless, I’m back.

I arrived about 9:55pm (there time) last night (July 1st) and went straight onto a bus, the Taxi, then to the place where I’ll be staying for the next few days. I met Alex (the guy in charge of the program that I’m working with), and OMW! He’s super amazing! He’s been in China for the last several years, but has deep roots in the USA and Taiwan. His “goal” for this program is to eventually perfect it so that he can bring it over to the Chinese to those children over there who might not otherwise have this opportunity (get taught some practical English, meet an American, etc.). It was so encouraging talking with him last night – the whole way to “my house”, he was explaining to me the who/what/where/when/and why’s of this camp.

Turns out that it’s gunna be a whole lot easier than I was expecting.

We will mainly be teaching in the afternoons. The kids English-level will be pretty good. There will be about 8 teachers for the 16 students (all the teachers-except me- are fluent in English AND Chinese). There will be a lot of extra-activities: Biking, swimming, dancing, etc… and we have weekends for traveling!

Now, much as I’m still super excited about all this jazz, I’ll be honest. I’m quite nervous still. Before I got here, I knew ONE person. And right now, I’m in an office w/ 5 ppls who are holding a deep conversation… IN COMPLETE CHINESE! lol. all I understand is a few words here and there and my name

Ah well. I’d better get back to lesson planning. Please continue to pray for me. I look forward to hearing from you; receiving emails, feedback and stuff like that.

oh, and always, I covet your prayers.

Wo I nimen  <3

Hey ppls! So I’m sitting in the airport… waiting for the airplane. How come it always seems to take forever while waiting for something that’s not too far away? Seriously, I’ve been here for an hour, but it seems like forever!

 (LATER)

Ok, so my Mom, Stephie, Hopie, and Elliott brought me to the airport at 12 today (the day that I’m writing this). My suitcases were TERRIBLY heavy, but they were underweight, so it’s all good J So, I get through security… with only a few minor casualties

 (LATER)

I’ve decided that I LOVE ppls watching. There are a lot of Asians around… already getting excited-feelings for setting my feet back on Taiwanese ground J I’m heading out from Minneapolis, MN to Tokyo, JAPAN. Then I go straight from Tokyo to Taipei, Taiwan! I’m still super excited! Oops, they just called my name… gotta scoot <3

 (LATER)

Hahahahaha…. Ok, so I’ve been on the airplane for FOREVER already… and we’re not even half way there yet. Oh, so I’m watching this movie (ya know, the one where the business-girl comes up to MN…. Don’t remember the name of it…). Anywho, it’s HILARIOUS!! So Minnesotan it’s not even funny. Jk… It really is J  and the little kid in it is sooo totally awesome!

     Anywho, my Computer says that it’s 8:44pm…that means that I really don’t have ANY idea what time it is. And it doesn’t help that I’m running off of little-to-no sleep so my brain isn’t thinking “sleep-needed” right now either. However, since I’m rambling off about almost nothing, I’m gunna assume that I probably should get to sleep. Nonetheless, the last few times I tried sleeping, I’ve either jolted awake, or had no success It never really crossed my mind that I might have trouble sleeping on an airplane like I have trouble sleeping in the cars (since the accident). So, I’m randomly typing on my computer (which can stay alive for almost 6 hrs thanks to some friends help!), trying to stay awake, and attempting NOT to think about food (which I totally forgot to bring any snacks along – dummy!).

AHAHAHAHA…. This movie just keeps getting sillier and sillier. Gosh, Ya never really know what MN-tians are like unlike you see them on TV. Sheesh, we really are super sweet <3 <3

Wow. I cannot believe that Capernaum is done for the year. It seems like it’s gone by super fast… and I’ve learned so much. I’ve met so many kids who have taught me to be grateful for the blessing that I have; challenge me to live to my fullest potential; love without expecting anything in return! These kids are the highlight of my week. Nonetheless, this last Friday was my last time to spend with them…and it was almost hard. Yes, I love going to Capernaum and seeing all the kids, but this last Friday a friend offered to bring me to a concert. I was tempted to say yes. However, when I thought about my kids and the fact that this would be my last week to spend with them, I quickly decided against going to the concert – knowing that the time spent with my kids would be so much more “worth it” It was! All the kids were so excited/sad for this last week of Friday-fun. They all had to tell us about their Summer plans, going to camps, and they all made sure that we would be back this fall. I assured them that I would be for sure! A lot of them asked if I was planning on going to “Cast away” (Younglife’s camp for handicap kids). I told them that I had considered going, but the Lord had changed my plans as of recently. It was a night filled with mixed emotions: joy; sadness; excitement; anticipation. However, we all were grateful for the wonderful memories and have many more to look forward to!

Wow. Time flies bye all too fast. I cannot believe that I am about to stop going to Capernaum when I feel like I just started! I have learned so much from these kids and have fallen in love with each of their personalities. Last night, while I was at Capernaum hanging out with the kids, I kept pondering what I would be doing with my Friday nights if I wasn’t going to Capernaum. I know that there are many other things out there, but one of the leaders mentioned that they really couldn’t do these clubs without us and these kids would never forget us! That is so true. We never really know the impact that we have on people. Well, last night we celebrated “Cinco de Mayo” with the kids, who really seemed to enjoy it. We had set up 5 stations, which the kids would rotate through. However, some of the stations had very interesting activities and some of the kids were determined not to participate in them. This is where I find the “impact of a leader” comes in handy. These kids totally look up to us; what we do is what they want to do, and what we find interesting, they find fascinating. Thus, when we acted enthusiastic about a certain activity, it wasn’t hard to see them get excited about it too. It brought back to mind the thought that I had earlier… the one about the impact that we have on people. How am I living my life? Not just when I’m a leader at Capernaum, but in my regular life as well? Through everything I should be striving to set a good example, especially since I claim Christ as my example. This is my overall goal – working at Capernaum and in my everyday life!

Community Service can be defined in many views from many people. Princeton defines Community service as “A service that is performed for the benefit of the public or it’s institutions.” (www.worldnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn). Since it is spring and it’s been quite lovely outside, we decided that we should take some time to do some outdoor activities with the kids at Capernaum. However, we were going to have them rake up leaves as a service project for the church. Since we know some of these children quite well by now, we made a few mental notes that the kids might not be too excited to go outside and “work”, so we (as team leaders) decided that we would have to be extra enthusiastic about everything – especially cleaning up. At first I was a bit leery about this whole situation because I knew some kids who would not want to do it. However, once the kids arrived and we told them what we were doing (with an overload of enthusiasm in our voices), the childern were all super pumped! Yes, we did have several kids who just did NOT want to get dirty, pick up leaves, etc. But overall, the kids were great sports and when they saw how enthusiastic we were about being there and helping, we could hardly keep them back from doing all they possibly could! It was truly awesome to see these kids, who are usually the ones being helped, putting forth their best effort to work together and serve the church community by raking leaves and cleaning up the yard. It reminded me of Ephesians 6:7, “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not man”. This enforces the fact that no matter what I am doing – working with handicap children, working at my job, cleaning around the dorm – that it should be for Jesus, not just to please the people around me.

(Perspective from April 4th) Every time I go to Capernaum, I feel like I come back with an unexplainable “high”. Perhaps it is not so unexplainable though, because when I go to Capernaum and see the smiling faces of those children whom I’ve impacted, I can’t help but get excited to be a part of what God is doing there. I’ve seen mild changes in the kids; they have already seemed to warm up to me and some of them have started to remember my name. Also, I see children being more attentive and responding during our “story times”from the Bible. However, what always gets my enthusiasm up when I go to Capernaum, is seeing the way the kids respond to each other. I believe that a majority of them know that they are handicap, but they don’t let that get them down. They always choose to come into Capernaum with huge smiles, encouraging energy, and a readiness to enjoy their night to it’s fullest! It is the highlight of my week to go to Capernaum and not have to worry about being an amazing person, because I know that those kids are going to love me for who I really am, and they know that I will love them too.